Vitiligo Has Me

by michaelkhalili on August 22, 2010

My face with vitiligo under black light

Vitiligo around my eyes and lips under black light

Vitiligo is a cosmetic skin condition in which there is loss of pigment from different areas of skin, resulting in irregular white patches that feel like normal skin. Joint areas and parts of the face are frequently affected. The cause is mostly unknown and, even though researchers think they have a clue, any treatment is extremely tedious. Michael Jackson famously bleached his skin white to “hide” its symptoms. Vitiligo affects about 1% of the population.

My personal battle with the disease has been going on since I was about 11. I developed small patches on my knees, eye lids and chin. It went away fairly quickly on its own and returned again in my late teens as a tiny white patch on my knuckle. Again, it went away on its own. Then, when I was about 23 it came back with a vengeance and I’ve been dealing with it ever since.

When it spread this most recent time, I didn’t notice it right away because I was staying out of the sun and had fairly pale skin. The white spots were able to grow without much attention for a couple of years. As I started spending more time in Los Angeles I got more sun and was shocked at how much of my skin was affected. This time it didn’t go away on its own. This time I had to actively fight it.

Lucky for me, Dr. Grimes, someone on the front lines of pigmentation diseases, was practicing in Los Angeles. While other doctors might brush off vitiligo as simply cosmetic, she is truly simpathic and dedicated. Her treatment involved using several prescription creams regularly and narrow band UVB light for 5-8 minutes a session. Right off the bat I didn’t keep up with the creams because I could never stand anything like that on my skin. The light treatment was sort of a hassle because I needed to come in 2-3 times a week and, as a cash patient, pay about $100 each time. Still, I kept regular appointments and after several months the spots started receding. Unfortunately the speed in which it responded is what made me start missing appointments. I felt it was under control and the initial panic left me.

I became an on-again off-again patient. Coming in for treatment anytime I got a suntan and started to freak out. Eventually I even got a personal light unit so I wouldn’t have to travel 3 times a week and pay for treatment. It cost about $2,700 but if I kept up with my treatment I’d quickly pay for itself in saved bills and convenience. Apparently that wasn’t enough because I failed to maintain even the simplest routine.

It’s been nearly a year since my last light treatment and easily over a year since any regular schedule. The vitiligo is spreading like wildfire. I’m freaking out. This isn’t cool. I don’t really mind it on my hands and other parts of my body but my face is seriously starting to look like The Joker. While it’s currently only slightly noticeable in normal light I’ve actually resorted to using a little makeup in desperate self conscious moments. What the hell am I going to do if I actually get some sun? I’d be totally screwed! The worst part is when I first restart the light therapy it’ll tan my skin making the spots even more visible. To get better I’m going to look worse for several months. Ack!

Fuck it, this can’t go on. I have a light unit right here in my house, Dr. Grimes is local and my schedule is flexible. Yes, UVB light can cause cancer but I’ve got to fight this thing hard until it fully disappears. Going back and forth like this only prolongs the treatment which increases my exposure and risk. I’m calling for an appointment this week. No more bullshit excuses. No more flaking on treatment. No more Joker face.

Below are pictures of my left hand as the spots progressed and my home UVB light box. Since my skin isn’t as tanned, I had to take the more recent one under a black light where the spots show up much clearer. I’m suppose to use the UVB light box 2-3 times a week for about 2 minutes on each side of my body (like a damn roasting chicken) and slowly increase to 8+ minutes over several months.

Update 1/4/2011: Motivating Results - I saw Dr. Grimes on September 28th. After greeting me with a warm hug she looked over the “damage” and put me on a treatment plan. I got a cortisone shot and went home with a prescription for Clobetasol Propionate and a schedule for my light treatments which gradually increases in intensity after each session. I’m at 3 minutes and 30 seconds now.

It’s been about 100 days and I’m noticing improvements all over. Around my lips and cheeks the color has started to slowly creep back. My elbows are showing lots of freckles with parts so dense they’re almost filled in. On my hands I found 1 or 2 clusters of spots that I hope will combine to form larger patches of pigment soon.

Read the full article

My left hand with vitiligo in Aug 2006

My left hand with vitiligo in Aug 2006

My left hand with vitiligo in Aug 2010

My left hand with vitiligo in Aug 2010

My left hand with under black light in Aug 2010

My left hand with vitiligo under black light in Aug 2010

Daavlin UVB Light Box

Daavlin UVB Light Box

  • Marga

    Sending you love Michael.You inspire.

  • chas

    thanks for sharing your story.. if i know you at all, i know once you really put your mind to something you can’t be stopped. stay focused on your goal and you’ll find a way. xx

  • stillchas

    by the way, if i tap your brain and drink it up..i’d fall on my ass drunk
    :D

  • McNally

    Man, that’s rough. I was gonna make a dumb joke about how being white isn’t so bad, but seriously, I hope you can battle it back. Definitely don’t do the nosejob thing. That’s where Michael Jackson really got goofed up.

    -McNally

  • http://MichaelApproved.com/ MichaelApproved

    Thanks. Now I have to put action to these words. I called the doc and she doesn’t have an appointment for another 30 days! I’m on a waiting list and going to start the light treatment on my own.

  • http://MichaelApproved.com/ MichaelApproved

    I have to remember not to quit when I finally get some progress going.

  • http://MichaelApproved.com/ MichaelApproved

    I learned it by watching you.

  • http://MichaelApproved.com/ MichaelApproved

    He goofed up when he started taking little kids into the bedroom.

    Don’t worry. I just have a few things I need to fix and then I’ll be done…

  • a KaTG fan in Austin

    sending warm thoughts of comfort your way….

  • chemekimmi

    thanks for sharing this, it’s very brave. good luck!

  • Marga

    Stick with it Michael and hope you get in soon on the wait list.

  • Jaishree Garg

    well i share a similar story!!1but m fightin as well..hope v get better soon..cheers:-)

  • LeahM

    You’ve just got to do it…and stick with it. Like everything else in life that people despise, its the routine that gets results.

  • http://MichaelApproved.com/ MichaelApproved

    It’s funny you say that because I’ve compared it to working out before. You get almost no results at first and it’s really frustrating. You have to trust that all this will payoff eventually.

  • http://www.monocat.com monocat

    Michael- Hope the year 2011 turns out to be great for your health. Don’t stress too much. You’ll be fine. We should meetup again for some drinks. :)

  • http://MichaelApproved.com/ MichaelApproved

    Thanks, same here. I’m also working out regularly now so things are improving all over the place. Heading to nyc soon but I’m down for drinks when I get back!

  • Anonymous

    Michael my grandmother and all her sisters 5 others have Vitiligo and when i saw you post i had to read more. None of my moms sisters or brothers have it. Dont stress to much things will be cool my grand is 85.

  • http://MichaelApproved.com/ MichaelApproved

    Thanks. It was never a big deal until it hit my face. Thankfully I’m staying on schedule and it’s starting to recede now.

  • Maria

    thanks for sharing your story. I’ve had non segmental vitiligo on my right leg since I was 3 and I can’t remember a time when I’ve not had to cover it up if I don’t want stares. Hope it clears up for you.

  • Parajosh

    you have inspired me to get up off my depressed ass and do something about this bullshit I’ve been served as a life and finally try and make it one.

    First stop, vasectomy!, second My Derm and third and final a trainer.

  • http://MichaelApproved.com/ MichaelApproved

    Wow, I inspired a vasectomy!

    Your depressed ass will feel better about itself once you start seeing results with your skin and body. Working out goes a long way with improving mood and self esteem. Go for it!

  • Jmzl4

    I have had the “Michael Jackson” disease for over 30 years. It is all over my body- hands, feet, arms, legs, face, neck etc. If that is the worst disease I get I will be grateful. Don’t beat yourself over it…I just go about life & totally ignore my polka dot body. Yes, I do go in the sun. I use a 40 sunblock, wear a hat & try to stay in the shade of the only tree on the beach. The treatment(s) don’t really offer a cure; most of them may cause more damage than good. I will not allow this disease to comsume my life.

  • http://MichaelApproved.com/ MichaelApproved

    I’ve thought about “It’s better than cancer” before but there’s no question that it still sucks. If this is the worst disease then great but that doesn’t mean I won’t fight it. The good news is that I’m seeing results and the white spots are receding. I must to be diligent and maintain the treatment.

  • Rrrrpatel

    Micheal,

    I have vtiligo right below my knees and neck. I noticed it 5 years ago when I went thru a major depression. Ever since then, I keep myself happy and motivated which has helped from spreading. In other words, come to terms with it and your skin will come back with time.

  • http://MichaelApproved.com/ MichaelApproved

    You’re right, that stuff has a major impact. I’ve noticed that when I’ve stressed my body with little sleep and done similar things the vitiligo spread quicker. Now that I’ve got things under control, am exercising and undergoing treatment, things are improving rapidly.

  • Aaly_qureshi

    How long did it take to spread from your hands to your face?

  • http://MichaelApproved.com/ MichaelApproved

     It’s hard to say because I didn’t track it well at first. I wasn’t in the sun so it all seemed to be there all at once. The good news is that my doctor told me that face is the easiest to clear up and it’s true. Now that I’m maintaining steady treatment, my face is filling in a lot. At this rate the color around my lips will be filled in within a few months.

  • Scott

    I’ve bought a home UV treatment and was wondering what kind of exposure lenths and type of UV you are using and at what time line/ amount of treatment.  In other words.  how long and how frequent of UV exposure have you had success with.

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